I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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