sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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