I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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