im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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