and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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