Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
