yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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