Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
