U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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