i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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