I CAN MOONWALK!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
