I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
