I've blown a few things in my day
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
