Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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