Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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