do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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