24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
