She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sarcasm needs its own font
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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