Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
