why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
