His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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