She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
