I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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