That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
