Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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