I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
