Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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