My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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