i can't believe i had my finger in that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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