i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
