So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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