I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
