like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
