go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
