Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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