She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
