I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize