Screwed.edu
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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