can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
