I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
