One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
