apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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