I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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