If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
vagina is talking i cant
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
