We left an ass print on the piano.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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