I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
smell my finger.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize