doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
