Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
