I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
