So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The power of my boobs compel you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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