We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
