when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
