i think my tv is drunk
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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