Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you had me at cake vodka
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
