their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
