p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
