How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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