Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
