So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
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You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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