I need to stop coming to work sober
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
nutella sex= disaster
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
