Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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