I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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