I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
