Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
