I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
