Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
