I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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