My first STD was from a foam party
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
