I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
